YCN #6

My most memorable concert experience is not because of the concert itself. My favorite moment happened before I even entered the venue doors.

My sister and I went to a Cobra Starship concert when I was junior in college. My boyfriend had gotten us discount tickets as the band was playing where he worked at the time. We were so excited because it was our first concert. We saved for weeks so we could buy as much merchandise as we could.

We left early to avoid the traffic, but we had an easy ride in. We expected a long wait in line to be screened before we could enter the venue, but the queue moved swiftly. Right before the doors, there were security guards checking bags. As I had driven that night, I had a small purse with me. I held it open as I approached security, but continued my conversation with my sister as I knew there would be no issues.

I halted in talking to my sister when I realized the guard was not letting me pass. He was shining a flashlight into my purse on something in particular. From my angle, I could not tell what he was looking at and my mind raced to think of what I could possibly have in my bag that would cause security to keep me from entering the concert.

The guard called his female co-worker over to my sister and me. He motioned into my bag with his flashlight. The female guard shrugged; she did not know what he was looking at either. He reached his hand into my purse and pointed to the object. She rolled her eyes and said to him, “You’re an idiot. That’s a tampon.”

I am still not sure who was more mortified by this: him or me. I do know that I have yet to ever see another human being display the same amazing shade of red upon their face.

I honestly barely remember the concert – I know we had fun, the music was great, I bought a hoodie that is still my favorite one – but I will never forget the look on that poor man’s face over thinking a tampon was some unknown, possibly dangerous object. Embarrassing, somewhat. Memorable, definitely.

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My Day

Rushed. I have been rushed all day. Too busy thinking about what I have to do later instead of what I have to do now.

I work in the village square and if there is no parking out front, I will park my car by the grocery store and walk the short distance to my work. Today, as soon as I closed the car door, I realized an important fact. I had just locked my keys in my car. When I set my bags down just to check, I realized that, to make matters worse, the keys were in the ignition and the car was still running.

A co-worker suggested calling the local police department, but I know CJ has had an issue with other local PDs who will not get keys out of for legal reasons. I tried anyway and there was no answer in the office. I did not bother trying to get a hold of CJ as he works about 45 minutes away. I called the garage that we use and they said, “Sure! But it will cost you $40.” I sure did not have $40 to waste on my stupidity.

While trying to figure out what to do, my co-worker realized that a deputy car was parked outside of the local diner. He told me just to go inside and ask for help; no big deal. Yes, it is a big deal!

I walked in and found them sitting in the back corner. Once I realized it was more than one officer I would be interrupting, I bailed and went back outside. My co-worker called me a chicken and said to get my butt back in there. I did not have $40 and I sure was not happy about the gas I was wasting, so I went back inside.

The officers were eating salads and having a grand time when awkward me walked up to the table with my story of how “I must have left my brain at home today.” They said not a problem, we will be right there.

I went back to work since my co-worker offered to wait by my car while he was on his smoke break. He came back a few minutes later to tell me that as the registered owner, I had to go sign paperwork. I started to panic a bit, because I am not the registered owner, CJ is.

I walked down to find a very frustrated police officer. He had use a wood wedge and what looked like a blood pressure cuff to pry the door open a bit and had a long, hooked wire in my car. He turned when he saw me in the reflection off the car window asking where the automatic lock button was. There is no automatic lock in my car. It is old.

As I stood in the parking lot, I could feel the people staring and the cars driving slowly to try and find out what was going on. He could not get the proper grip or leverage to get the lock itself up, so he tried to get the handle open since we realized that would make the door unlock and open. I was so excited when he got it open that I did not realize he was not done with me. He asked for my license and registration. I did not have my license, it was in my purse by my desk and I had to hope CJ would have put the registration where I would have put it.

I began to dig around in the glove box and pulled out the insurance first. This was not good enough, although I do not know why. It provided the same information. I think at this point – locked keys, interrupting lunch, happy dance in the parking lot, no license, and inability to find the registration – he began to doubt my credibility and my sanity.

I finally found the registration and as he was reaching for it, I pulled it back. “I realize that this says it is expired, but I promise I paid for the renewal last night and that the temporary registration is in my living room. Please do not give me a ticket for expired registration.” I honestly believe he rolled his eyes at me.

The officer looked thoroughly at the registration, upset that it only said CJ on it. I told him that my husband’s name must just be too long to fit on such a small piece of paper. He began writing the information he needed and as he got to the address, he asked if it was current. I said no and he crossed out what he has begun writing with obvious exasperation. I gave him our new address and signed the form. He must have realized that no women would have claimed my last name if it were not true and let me go without further proof.

CJ called shortly after it happened and I told him the whole story ending with the fact that I have no dignity left today. NONE. Jeepers. I still feel like an idiot thinking about it. :/