From the Mouths of Babes

I believe all parents have encountered a moment where the unfiltered mind of their young child has led to a comment that was either embarrassing, unintentionally funny, or maybe a combination of both. My personal favorite to date occurred this weekend.

Q and I were at the grocery store. She was being her usual, friendly self; saying hello to anyone and everyone. While searching the shelf for the item I was after, Q drew my attention with, “Look, Mommy! He’s covered with stamps.” She then proceeded to run toward a gentleman to inform him: “You shouldn’t do that. Stamps only go on paper.”

The poor man was genuinely confused, as he did not realize Q was referring to his tattoos as stamps. I, on the other hand, had a really difficult time containing my laughter.  It was good to know though, she remembered just where stamps belong.  🙂

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Last night was an adventure. My brother-in-law spent some time in the ER and my sister was with him. Therefore, I had seven children in my house. Seven. I had to get everyone ready for bed, find a place for them all to sleep, get everyone dressed and fed in the morning, then get them all to two different schools. Thanks goodness CJ was such a good helper. Seriously, rockstar quality.

Multiple incidents like these have kept me absent lately; only involving my own health. Not all of my health issues were resolved upon SC’s delivery. It has taken me up to this point to even feel like a semblance of myself. I feel the more I continue to follow doctor’s orders and return to my household and writing routine, the better I will feel.

So tonight, while my children snub their noses at my delicious (if I do say so myself) chicken pot pie in favor of peanut butter and jelly, I bring you this update that is long overdue. Thanks for sticking with me.

Happy

It’s hard to believe the baby is almost two weeks old. We’ve been having to work a little to adjust as SC has some day-night confusion. This is not new to us as MJ had it as well, but that was almost seven years ago now and not only were we younger as we were operating on less sleep, but there also weren’t any other kids at that point.

I am surprised with how well the three older ones seem to be sleeping through the night, considering how they act during the day if they hear the baby cry. Once she starts to fuss even a little bit, at least one will shout “the baby!” and run down the hallway to rescue her from her bed.

SC is indeed a lucky girl, with a big brother and two big sisters who love and adore her so much. My heart is full. I am one happy mama.

I sit here in this hospital bed, knowing I should be asleep, but finding it alludes me once again.

On Monday at 8:23pm, we were blessed with another beautiful daughter. SC is such a content and happy little girl, but I find I just feel so guilty about this whole thing. I fought with the midwife during delivery over who knew my body best. I won, SC did not. SC is currently undergoing light therapy for jaundice which she was a greater risk for because of being delivered early. She has had to undergo intensive blood glucose testing over a 24hour period because of the medication I was on because of the high blood pressures. My issues, which were supposed to be eliminated upon her birth, linger.

So my question is, why did I even bother? Why did I not just continue walking around as an uncomfortable zombie in order to avoid all this falling on the baby instead? Also, why did not one single medical professional I have seen over the last two of three months feel it necessary to inform me an out the glucose levels in my baby? Like really? No one? I was infuriated with this one, on top the the guilt I was already experiencing over everything else.

I have received a verbal promise we will both go home tomorrow, but I’m not letting it get my hopes up. I don’t really believe a word they tell me anymore. I Just want to take my baby home…

Update

The drama continued for the most part. I had to have another hospital stay where I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia on top of everything else. After a while, the doctors were finally convinced baby and I were stable enough to be left alone. But even by this, I just mean we weren’t admitted long term. We were seen once per week at the hospital for growth and doppler ultrasounds, once per week at the office for checkups and NSTs, and had to have weekly blood work.

On Monday, I will have reached 37 weeks. As this is considered full-term, I have been scheduled for an induction. As much as I’m not looking forward to the induction itself (my induction with EM was just awful), I am looking forward to the end of this pregnancy. I give props to any woman who has had this level of difficulty within a pregnancy and then willingly does it again.

So, as I have been absent due to sickness, starting Monday, I will be absent due to baby! I will most definitely be enjoying my baby snuggle time, but will try to return to a normal schedule within a few weeks.

Update

Today, I finally returned home after a four day, three night stay on the labor and delivery floor of our hospital.

This escapade began early Saturday morning when I was repeating some failed lab work and also doing additional testing. By Saturday afternoon, I had already received a results phone call, my values were that bad.

Upon arrival and admission, I was officially diagnosed preeclamptic. While monitoring me and trying to get my pressures under control, it was discovered I was also suffering from hypokalemia and hypomagnesemia.

I was on bed rest the whole time and while being pumped full of medicine to address these three issues, I was also give massive amounts of steroids to help baby’s lungs be ready a little sooner. The easy fix to all this is delivery, but at 31 weeks, they want us to hold out as long as my body will allow.

My next few weeks are riddled with self-monitoring and multiple doctor visits for NSTs, dopplers, growth ultrasounds, and lab work.

To top everything off, baby stubbornly stays in a breech position and now has given me pregnancy induced carpal tunnel – which let me tell you, made all the blood pressures I had to do undeniably painful.

To end this most current chapter of this pregnancy, I have to diligently follow all these rules and also faithfully take my meds. But if things begin leaning in a poor direction, baby will be coming. So, from now on, whenever anyone asks about when I’m due, the answer is no longer Christmas Eve. “This baby could arrive any day now.”

Update

Shortly after my last post, CJ and I discovered something. This information very quickly turned me into a ball of anxiety, yet I was terrified to unfurl. I only spoke to the people closest to me and limited conversations at that. I was terrified history would repeat itself.

CJ and I had been discussing the possibility of trying for another baby, but before we had the chance to actually reach a decision, we found I was pregnant. It was difficult to be excited. CJ even confessed to me he was afraid to get attached.

I didn’t post anything here for a long time because this was all I wanted to talk about. But heaven forbid something bad should happen again.

Even now, at 28 weeks, I have been hesitant to share. This has been my most difficult pregnancy by far and the beginning was riddled with problems and scares.

My dating ultrasound discovered two gestational sacs. I had to return two weeks later to verify the viability of either. Only one had a heartbeat. Because I experienced some bleeding at the loss of the other sac, more ultrasounds were necessary to make sure the other baby was fine.

Now I agonizingly waited for that magical 12 week mark when women feel more “safe.” That feeling never arrived for me. I battled horrible morning sickness, weight loss, and worry. Eventually, the morning sickness slowed down and the weight loss plateaued, but I still see the return of my breakfast at least once per week.

At my anatomical ultrasound, it was discovered that I had what is called a marginal cord insertion. Basically, because this began as a twin pregnancy and that wasn’t resolved properly, this baby’s umbilical cord is not located where it should be on the placenta. This causes the placenta to work harder than normal – therefore, the placenta may not survive the full length of the pregnancy. This means more ultrasounds. We have to constantly watch the weight of the baby to make sure it’s still getting the proper amount of nutrition. Should the baby drop below the 10th percentile in estimated weight, it will then be determined the baby would be better out than in.

I have another ultrasound next week, but for now I’m not overly concerned about it. Baby moves quite a bit and it’s estimated weight would have to tank a lot from last measurement to reach the danger zone. However, I cannot help but be nervous before every scan, every doctor visit. All I want is for this baby to be healthy. As sick as I have been, I sincerely hope this little one stays put until its Christmas Eve due date. Besides having had to already bury a child, I can think of nothing more terrifying than having to sit beside this little one in the NICU because it simply wasn’t ready to join the world yet.

But here it is. The little nugget who needs all our love and prayers. The one I’m going to try to be just a little bit braver for.  🙂

Baby B

Little Nugget

Wish us luck!

PS…I will try to post more regularly again in the hopes this will also help my mental state. Thanks for sticking with me.