Halloween

Some people wanted to judge me harshly for not letting my kids go trick-or-treating this year. I’m sure some of you may want to now as well. But let me explain.

This past Thursday night, there were crazy high wind speeds where I live. Also, there was so much rain, our front sidewalk was flooded. If we had let them go, all of us would have gotten soaked and at least one of us would have gotten sick.

Instead, the kids all got dressed in their costumes and CJ and I set up trick-or-treating stations around the house. At our manned stations, the kids were asked math or reading questions in order to earn a piece of candy. At unmanned stations, they had to preform a physical activity (like jumping jacks) in order to earn candy. As an added bonus, this also helped tucker them out for bed.

Everyone had tons of fun and no one got wet. Win-win as far as I’m concerned. Just because you don’t participate in the “norm,” doesn’t make you a bad parent. As long as your kids are happy, that’s all that matters.

Q-isms

The past few weeks have been full of the preparing for and then after care of a surgery for Q. Amid all that, we were trying to squeeze in end-of-the-year picnics at school and for Cub Scouts, while also trying to get some planning done for the first full week of summer break. I know it may be a little early for this, but so far, so good. (Hopefully I don’t kick myself for that later.)

Over the past little while, Q seems to have really kicked up her silliness. I mean, she is like the most amazingly weird person I have ever met. I have decided to share a few of her more recent Q-isms so everyone can delight in this crazy little girl.

 

Q: When I grow up, I want to work in a hospital.

Me: Awesome! You want to be a doctor? A nurse?

Q: No. I just want to give kids shots.

Me: …

 

*Upon making Worms in Dirt*

Me: *taking a picture* Alright, babies. Give me your best wormy smile. Q, what’s with that face?

Q: *Dead pan* Worms don’t smile.

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

 

*Singing along to Disney tunes*

Q: Mommy, sing! Why did you stop?

Me: I don’t know the words.

Q: Yes, you do.

Me: Sweetheart, no one really knows the words to Circle of Life.

Q: Can I make up words?

Me: That can be dangerous territory, my love.

Q: Let’s just skip it.

Forever my backseat DJ.

 

*Upon listening to Dolly Parton in the van*

Q: Mom! Turn it off. I hate it.

Me: Seriously? But, but…

Q: I no longer like music.

Such harsh criticism from a five year old.

 

Me: *hiccup*

Q: Mommy, what’s wrong? Why are you sick?

Me: I’m not sick. I just have the hiccups.

Q: Should we talk about rainbows? Will that make them go away?

Me: Absolutely, girlfriend. Let’s talk about rainbows.

Because rainbows always make everything better.

 

For those of you who know her, isn’t this just so totally her? And for those of you who don’t know her, you’re definitely missing out. 🙂

From the Mouths of Babes

I believe all parents have encountered a moment where the unfiltered mind of their young child has led to a comment that was either embarrassing, unintentionally funny, or maybe a combination of both. My personal favorite to date occurred this weekend.

Q and I were at the grocery store. She was being her usual, friendly self; saying hello to anyone and everyone. While searching the shelf for the item I was after, Q drew my attention with, “Look, Mommy! He’s covered with stamps.” She then proceeded to run toward a gentleman to inform him: “You shouldn’t do that. Stamps only go on paper.”

The poor man was genuinely confused, as he did not realize Q was referring to his tattoos as stamps. I, on the other hand, had a really difficult time containing my laughter.  It was good to know though, she remembered just where stamps belong.  🙂

In the five years we have owned our house, I have never once parked in the garage. CJ claimed it as his own and made his own little gym out there. Honestly, I’m okay with this because it keeps all that equipment out of my house.

Lately, he has been turning the one corner into a rock climbing wall for the kids, so they can have something to do if they want to go out while a parent is working out. MJ is beyond excited about it and has been helping at any opportunity CJ gives him.

Last weekend, the boys were out working, the girls were napping, so I was enjoying some quiet “Mommy Time.” All the sudden MJ comes flying in the house screaming, “Help! Daddy’s bleeding!” I rush out to the garage expecting the worse, but instead see CJ sitting down looking just fine. He saw me and asked if I grabbed a bandage for him since he didn’t see it in my hands.

Apparently, he had dropped some wood on his foot and upon inspection, realized his little toe was bleeding. He had sent MJ into the house to “ask mommy for a bandage,” but instead, the child had scared me half to death.

I told CJ it had been the worst idea ever to send MJ in like that. I repeated what MJ had said and how I came out expecting an unconscious husband laying on the garage floor. At this point, I had no sympathy for his toe. (I did get him the bandage though.)

In conclusion, never send a five year old on such an errand without explicitly telling him what to say, as to avoid unnecessary panic.

It

Last week I told CJ he owed me and I was going on a girl date whether he liked it or not. He had gone out to happy hour with some guys from work and had plans to go fishing that weekend, so I told him I wanted to treat my sister to a movie. He simply laughed and said, “Have fun.”

I called my sister and told her we would be going to the local, three screen theater that night and the movie was her choice. I instantly regretted it when she told me what she was picking. The three choices were the new Thor movie, Happy Death Day, and It. As an avid Stephen King fan, she chose It. I don’t know why I thought for even a second there was a chance of her picking anything else. Here I was, hoping to watch some Chris Hemsworth, and was instead trying to mentally prepare myself to have my pants scared off.

In my attempt to get ready, I decided to watch the trailer for the movie. I hadn’t seen it before since I had no intention whatsoever to see It. I watched the first one and thought it wouldn’t be so bad. I started the second one and about halfway through I was already going, “nope, nope” and knowing I was in for a terrible evening.

As my family tends to have volume control issues that are exacerbated by the situation, I ordered our movie tickets a little loudly since I was already so nervous. My sister made a comment about it and the ticket lady told us not to worry. Since we were the only ones in that theater, we could be as loud as we wanted. This information did NOT make me feel better. In fact, it made me feel worse. We were now the only potential victims should something happen. Who wants to be the only ones in the theater for a scary movie?

After the time it took to get concessions and visit the little girls’ room, the movie was just beginning as we entered. So house lights were down, screen was black, and there was creepy music. We had no choice but to stand still until the WB logo appeared so there was even enough light to find our seats. It was not a good way to start.

Within the first five minutes of the movie, I had texted CJ to let him know my sister was already hiding in her sweater and had jumped twice. Not cool. She gave me a little bit of beef for tattling on her, but I told her since she picked the movie and was making me suffer through it, she was absolutely not allowed to act like a scaredy-cat and especially since it had just started and nothing had really happened yet.

In our efforts to tolerate the movie (and since we were alone) we talked and made fun of certain things to make them less scary. Of course, we still jumped quite a bit and my sister even squawked once. Altogether, it was a good movie though. I enjoyed it.

Since it was told in parts, my sister offered to lend me the book so I could see what happened at the end without waiting for the next movie. I told her that really wasn’t necessary. I don’t know if I would have the fortitude to sit through reading that book.

As we were walking to the car, I kind of made an ass out of myself. I moved to the side to make way for a couple walking toward us and ending up walking into a bush. I totally freaked myself out and screamed. The people in front of us turned around and looked at me like I was crazy. I apologized and informed them we had just seen a scary movie. I got made fun of the whole way home.

All-in-all, I didn’t end up as terrified as I thought and I did have a blast with my sister. Would I recommend this movie to others? Well, if you don’t have a basement, a sink, or an issue with clowns, you should be good.  🙂