Today marks three weeks since we buried Riley. Some days require less pretending than others. Some days, I am able to embrace the moment, experience it, then move on. Some days, the sadness brings me to my knees. I am a work in progress.

Last night, one of my girl friends took me out to see Beauty and the Beast. We had a nice time before and after, but during the movie, I wasn’t sure exactly how to feel. As you know, I had already seen this movie when my sister and I took our girls to see it. I was still pregnant then. So at first, this was all I could focus on. Then I could only focus on the jerks who came in late, couldn’t find their seats, and interrupted the prologue.

The flashback scenes in the movie are sad and they hit me so much harder this go-around. Many of the musical numbers caused me to cry.

I talked about this with CJ when I got home. Beauty and the Beast has been my favorite Disney movie since I was a child. I have seen the musical many times, including on Broadway. I have all the music on my iPod, even some sheet music from my playing days. I was afraid that all the emotion I felt during this most recent viewing might ruin how I feel about everything. But I told CJ, I think it may have actually made me love it more. Now it needs to hurry up on come out for purchase.

 

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