Excerpt from WIP

I have been debating doing this for a while. Some people think I should post an excerpt from my book, but I’ve never been good at sharing my writing with anyone. I even have a difficult time letting CJ read it and he is my nicest critic.

With some encouragement from my Twitter followers, I have decided to share a small excerpt from my current Work In Progress. This WIP is only a first draft, so please be kind when it comes to typing errors, etc. as my goal at the moment is to just get the story down on paper and then edit during the second draft phase.

I have 18 chapters currently, and the story is not over yet. Below is the beginning of the second chapter. Constructive criticism only, please. I am freaking out…

Becca’s War
Chapter 2 excerpt
Pink. She was surrounded by pink. Pink glittered walls. Pink fluffy pillows. Becca could not believe that Marianne had finally convinced her mother to let her pink-ify her room. Becca had to control her gag reflex, yet she was happy to be here.

How many nights had she slept in this room? How many secrets had they shared here? Yet tonight, she would have to conceal the biggest secret of them all from her best friends.

“Rebecca Anne, just what did you think you were doing?” Marianne feigned anger.

“What? Surprising you? I didn’t know that wasn’t allowed. I’ll make sure not to do it next time.” Becca smiled. She really was glad to be here.

Ben had already made himself comfortable on the pink bedspread. His coat was tossed on the floor in a heap with his hat and gloves.

“I don’t know about you Marianne, but I think Becca coming home is a pretty good birthday present. Even if it is belated.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Benny. No one said anything about coming home,” Becca was quick to correct.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, M&M. Have a seat.” Becca took her spot at the small desk chair and plopped her mis-matched socked feet upon it while Marianne went to the window seat and sat on a pink cushion. She adjusted the pink curtains out of her face and waited for Becca to speak.

“We are not here to stay.”

“Wha-”

“Let her finish Marianne. Geez.”

Becca glanced around the room. It was comforting to see, except for the color, the room she knew as well as her own had not changed much. There were still Taylor Swift CDs scattered on the desk, costume jewelry hung haphazardly on the vanity mirror, and a collage of photos of herself, M&M, and Benny on the pegboard above the bed.

She looked back at Marianne. “Dad’s just here on business. We will only be staying until he’s finished with his work, then we will have to go again.”

“That’s crazy, Becca. You just got back. I don’t want you to go away again.”

“Dad’s job is important, M&M. We go where he’s needed.”

“I can’t believe you!” Marianne’s face began to rival her hair in color. “All those times you complained about how he was gone all the time and how his job couldn’t be more important than family and -”

“Mary-anne.” Ben enunciated each syllable. There was no mistaking his tone. “Becca has gone through an awful lot the past two years. Are you seriously yelling at her right now?”

Marianne was a whirlwind of emotion. My best friend is here. I can’t believe she’s here! She’s leaving me again. Not today, but she will go. Why does Mr. Porter keep taking her away. All these business trips have to be hard on her

“How long will you stay?” Her voice had dropped and was barely above a whisper.

“As long as we need to be here.”

“Will you be going to school when it starts again on Monday?”

“Dad’s not sure, but I think I’m going to push the issue,” Becca said with resolution. “If we are here for a long time, I don’t want to miss out on classes. Plus, then I can maximize the amount of time I will get to spend with you guys.”

“Do you go to school wherever he gets assigned?” Ben could not help but to be curious about this.

“Honestly, no. I do a lot of independent study, but I miss actually going to school.”

“How can your dad be okay with dragging you all over and not letting you attend school? How will you get into college? You still plan on going, right?”

Ever since they were little, the girls had been raised together. Becca and Marianne’s mothers had been best friends, so why would they not raise their girls to be the same? They spent as much time at each other’s houses as they did at their own. It had always been their plan to do well in school, go to college together, get married being the maid/matron of honor for one another, and then raising their own children to be best friends as well.

The upheaval in Becca’s life had been a wake up call that their lives would not be like the pretty little picture they had painted for themselves. Even two years later, it was still hard to believe that Becca’s mother was gone.

Marianne could remember it like yesterday, finding out from her mother that Mrs. Porter had died. No, not died exactly. She had been murdered. A cold case now as there were no leads as to who would want to kill a Home Ec teacher whose most heinous act had been to burn a batch of her award winning cookies on occasion.

Everyone had tried their best; Becca slowly fell apart anyway.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s