This past weekend, my parents came for a visit to “see the new baby” and go to my nieces’ dance recital. Why is that in quotes? Because this is not really what happened. And I am not surprised in the least.
When my parents decided to move out of state, they promised to visit often since all of their children and grandchildren are here. They were supposed to rotate between staying with my sister or me each time they were here. This only happened a few times before they began staying with my aunt instead. My aunt had cried about not “getting her turn,” but ever since the first time they stayed with her, they have stayed there ever since. Makes me really happy CJ and I spent money we did not have on a bed for them.
I understand my mother feels like she has to see her parents, my dad’s mom, her brothers and sisters, and all her nieces and nephews while she is here, but at the same time, I do not really understand it. She is supposed to be seeing her own children; making her grandchildren feel special. Over an extended weekend, my children got only 45 minutes of uninterrupted attention and an hour of shared attention out at dinner. Did I really mind being taking out to dinner? Not really, but it would have been nicer if it had just been us.
I do not know if she is consciously trying to buy our affections or not, but it really seems like it. She brings gifts every time, pays for dinner, etc. I do not care about any of that. I would much prefer she bring nothing and just spend the time with us that we are promised.
My sister and I have both said something and it seems to go in one ear and out the other. There are too many people vying for her attention and she aims to please. I just wish we rated a little higher on the list.