Weekends with the ‘Rents

This past weekend, my parents came for a visit to “see the new baby” and go to my nieces’ dance recital. Why is that in quotes? Because this is not really what happened. And I am not surprised in the least.

When my parents decided to move out of state, they promised to visit often since all of their children and grandchildren are here. They were supposed to rotate between staying with my sister or me each time they were here. This only happened a few times before they began staying with my aunt instead. My aunt had cried about not “getting her turn,” but ever since the first time they stayed with her, they have stayed there ever since. Makes me really happy CJ and I spent money we did not have on a bed for them.

I understand my mother feels like she has to see her parents, my dad’s mom, her brothers and sisters, and all her nieces and nephews while she is here, but at the same time, I do not really understand it. She is supposed to be seeing her own children; making her grandchildren feel special. Over an extended weekend, my children got only 45 minutes of uninterrupted attention and an hour of shared attention out at dinner. Did I really mind being taking out to dinner? Not really, but it would have been nicer if it had just been us.

I do not know if she is consciously trying to buy our affections or not, but it really seems like it. She brings gifts every time, pays for dinner, etc. I do not care about any of that. I would much prefer she bring nothing and just spend the time with us that we are promised.

My sister and I have both said something and it seems to go in one ear and out the other. There are too many people vying for her attention and she aims to please. I just wish we rated a little higher on the list.

YCN #5

We all learn lessons from our Exes. Some of these lessons were hard to learn and even though, at the time, I wished I had not learned them, I am glad for the knowledge these exes gave me.

Lesson #1: Like father, like son.
John was funny and charming, just like the father he was named after, but during our phone conversations, I began to notice something. His father was a yeller and he seemed to always be upset about something. The longer we dated, the more mean John became. He yelled at me for things and was just downright miserable. My mother sat by me and held my hand after she told me that no 16 year old girl deserved to cry so much over a boy. Thanks, Mom.

Lesson #2: Pay attention to how he treats his mother.
If he treats his mother like a queen, chances are he will do the same for you. Beware that he does not cross the line into a “Mama’s Boy,” however. Sean was a sweetheart who picked you up for dates and held open doors. He did everything his mother asked of him; even break up with his girlfriend. I was deemed to be taking up too much of HER time, it being his senior year and all. No more “Mama’s Boys” for me.

Lesson #3: Saying “no” is hard.
Draw your line and respect it. Do not let a single person make you compromise your convictions. Rob, a different Sean, and a few more nameless fools all decided that because I was not ready, I was not worthy. After once, or even twice, of having a boy break up with you over something like this, it can make you start to question your choices. Saying no may be hard, but you will have more respect for yourself in the long run.

Lesson #4: Not all men deserve your trust.
While in college, I was seeing Ian. I came back from soccer practice one night, wet and exhausted. My roommate had the “code word” written on our door and I had to wait in the lounge on our floor for three hours. At the end of this time, Ian left our room. Guess we were interchangeable.

Lesson #5: Follow your heart.
There is always a gut feeling when you begin dating someone. Listen to it and you will save yourself time and heartache. You cannot change someone who is not willing to change themselves; you should never try. The “bad boys” will always remain as such and they are not the kind of man you want for the rest of your life.

The “Hole”

My mother has always referred to my father’s side of their bed as “the hole.” This is where he dresses/undresses and there has always been a decent amount of clothing littering the floor in this area. I love CJ, but after having him home for five days in a row for the holiday, he has turned my house into his “hole.”

This morning I found his clothing on the kitchen table, kitchen counter, dining room table, living room sofa, foyer bench, and in the bathroom. I was not even aware that he wore that many different outfits while he was home. Joining his clothes in some of these areas were MJ’s clothes. Wherever the boys happened to be when CJ changed MJ, that is where the clothes stayed (and I was wondering where all MJ’s socks were disappearing to).

It has only been six and a half years. Maybe after a few more, CJ will get the picture about what the hamper is for 🙂

We were supposed to close on the house on Friday. I should have known better than to get my hopes up with the way our luck has been going. The only thing they needed was one last employment verification for CJ and his HR manager was unavailable yesterday. That one thing has now held us up until next week.

I am told this will be the last hold up. There is nothing from this point on that could prevent closing unless CJ and I see something on our final walkthrough. To be perfectly honest, there would have to something crazy wrong for me to walk away from this now. I cannot wait for MJ to finally be able to sleep in his bed again.

From the time he was five months old until now, he has been sleeping in a pack-and-play and I feel like the worst mother ever whenever I think about it. We were only supposed to be staying with my grandparents for a few weeks, so we did not think we would need the crib and it is buried in our storage unit. My baby deserves better. At least him and his batman do not know any better, but I still cannot wait to spoil MJ big time to make up for it.

He loves his batman...

He loves his batman…

MJ

I realized that I talked about MJ a lot in my last post. As other parents know, it is hard not to talk about your little one. MJ was born in March of this year. He is my first baby and a beautiful little boy.

My pregnancy was an easy one until I got toward the end of it. My job at the time was a high stress one besides being one that mostly kept me on my feet. As the first person to greet people who come into a hospital, you have to be ready for all types of emergency situations and also be prepared to deal with the family/friends that come with them. I was taken out of work about four weeks before my delivery for my gestational hypertension and put on bed rest.

Since my numbers would not regulate, my doctor decided that I needed to be induced. Needless to say, I was petrified about being induced because all my girlfriends decided it would be a good idea to tell me horror stories about it. MJ, being the good little boy he is, had other plans. An hour before I was supposed to go in for my induction, my water broke.

I spent my time, for as long as I was able, walking the hallway of the small OB department. My husband, CJ, walked laps with me and rubbed my back during all my contractions. He stayed with me the entire time.

I will forever appreciate the nurses who cared for me during my labor. A few months after my son’s birth, the OB department was closed and the nurses had to find new employment. The women were 100% supportive of my decision to not have an epideral and were very helpful in providing alternative ways to have a healthy labor. I know that the risk of complications from an epidural are very small, but I know women who ended up with spinal headaches and such from them. The nurses were there for constant encouragement. I hope they were able to find other situations where they could be happy.

At 10:58am, MJ was born and our lives forever changed.

just a few weeks old

just a few weeks old

He is a handsome, smart little man who just turned nine months old. He furniture walks like a pro and can run away from his daddy pretty quickly when threatened with having to put on his pants 🙂

His two-toothed grin can make anyone smile and he makes me proud to be his mama. I cannot wait to make him a big brother.