We all learn lessons from our Exes. Some of these lessons were hard to learn and even though, at the time, I wished I had not learned them, I am glad for the knowledge these exes gave me.
Lesson #1: Like father, like son.
John was funny and charming, just like the father he was named after, but during our phone conversations, I began to notice something. His father was a yeller and he seemed to always be upset about something. The longer we dated, the more mean John became. He yelled at me for things and was just downright miserable. My mother sat by me and held my hand after she told me that no 16 year old girl deserved to cry so much over a boy. Thanks, Mom.
Lesson #2: Pay attention to how he treats his mother.
If he treats his mother like a queen, chances are he will do the same for you. Beware that he does not cross the line into a “Mama’s Boy,” however. Sean was a sweetheart who picked you up for dates and held open doors. He did everything his mother asked of him; even break up with his girlfriend. I was deemed to be taking up too much of HER time, it being his senior year and all. No more “Mama’s Boys” for me.
Lesson #3: Saying “no” is hard.
Draw your line and respect it. Do not let a single person make you compromise your convictions. Rob, a different Sean, and a few more nameless fools all decided that because I was not ready, I was not worthy. After once, or even twice, of having a boy break up with you over something like this, it can make you start to question your choices. Saying no may be hard, but you will have more respect for yourself in the long run.
Lesson #4: Not all men deserve your trust.
While in college, I was seeing Ian. I came back from soccer practice one night, wet and exhausted. My roommate had the “code word” written on our door and I had to wait in the lounge on our floor for three hours. At the end of this time, Ian left our room. Guess we were interchangeable.
Lesson #5: Follow your heart.
There is always a gut feeling when you begin dating someone. Listen to it and you will save yourself time and heartache. You cannot change someone who is not willing to change themselves; you should never try. The “bad boys” will always remain as such and they are not the kind of man you want for the rest of your life.