Last night I sat with CJ and discussed what I should do about my ankle, as I had injured it earlier in the week. Then I thought how sad it was that I was having this conversation with my husband instead of with my doctor. But having this conversation with CJ was free and a doctor’s visit with an X-ray? Two weeks worth of groceries we can’t buy for our family. And that’s with insurance. 

We spend tons of money per month on health insurance we never use simply because we are penalized for not having coverage. Yet our copays and deductibles are so astronomical, we avoid going to the doctor’s like the plague; even if we have the plague. My “white coat syndrome” shouldn’t stem from fear of being unable to pay my bill. 

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Really?

Today is a day of frustration. My sister watches MJ for a few hours on Fridays, between when I leave for work and CJ comes home. I always drop MJ off at 2:00pm. ALWAYS. Today, at quarter to two, my sister called me and said to not drop MJ off at her house – she was out getting her nails done. Are you kidding me? She relies so heavily on my babysitting money to drive her daughter back and forth to preschool that she hounds me about it every week (even though I give it to her the same day every time), yet she has money to blow on a manicure. WTF.

She wanted me to drop MJ off at Walmart, where she was getting her nails done, but I did not want to. He has been sick for the past few days and was finally getting better. I did not want him in and out of cars, running around, etc. Plus, she has two girls of her own to handle while her nails got done.

I really did not have a choice because I do not have someone else to watch MJ. As I was driving to Walmart, my sister tried to call me. My speaker does not work, so I did not answer. She immediately tried to call again so I pulled over to take the call. There had been a change of plans. As her nails got done sooner than she thought and her girls were hungry, they were going to go to Pizza Hut.

I was livid. I did not want him in a public place around other people when he was sick. I did not want her feeding him – we are a paleo family, whether she agrees with that lifestyle or not. She promised she wouldn’t and they would go straight home. I did not believe her.

CJ and MJ always come to visit me on Friday nights on my dinner break. MJ looked terrible when they got here and CJ looked like he was ready to kill my sister. MJ had gone from looking and sounding almost 100% better to being so sick it was heartbreaking just to listen to him breathe. There was no way my sister had taken him straight home.

CJ tries his best not to take his frustrations out on me as he knows she is my sister, but I agree sometimes. I will always love her, but her nonchalance when it comes to the care of MJ really bothers me. I do not have anyone else to watch him while I work and I only work part-time so he can spend most of his days with me. Both CJ and I wish we could figure out a way where I could stay home and he could always stay with me. Plus, my sister is pregnant with baby number three, due in August, and there is no way I am going to let her watch MJ after that.

Most work-from-home jobs do not seem legitimite and they scare me away from even trying to investigate them further. I would love to watch a few children in my home as I used to work at a daycare for three years, but all my ads and fliers do not seem to be doing any good. Hopefully something good comes our way soon.

Sorry about my complaining.