After having survived visiting both sides of the family in a single weekend and numerous hours in the van, we still had plenty to get ready for at home. We had the beginning of school for MJ and Q, the end of my job at the hospital, and the beginning of babysitting for one of my girlfriends. We have been an exceptionally busy household.

Most days, it’s been the level of busy where you feel really accomplished by the end of the day, but you’re too tired to do anything else other than binge on DramaFever before bed.

There have been a few highlights since school has started. One of the things I loved was one morning while driving to school, as we passed the cemetery, Q waved out the window and said, “Hi, Baby Riley.” It was just that simple; just that sweet. And now they always do it. It makes me both happy and sad at the same time. The other thing has to do with MJ. One of the other mothers was in his classroom for a birthday. She pulled me aside at pickup later that day to tell me how impressed she was with how well-behaved and polite he is. I was shocked. And so excited. I can deal as long as he’s only naughty at home lol.

So today begins my attempt at a better, more structured writing schedule – squeezing it in between life and everything else. Hopefully I will be as successful as I would like to be.  Wish me luck!

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Valentine’s Date

Last night CJ took me out for a Valentine’s/birthday date. It was the first time since MJ was born that I left him for any length of time when he was not already asleep; expecting someone else to put him to bed. On top of that, it was the first time I left Q with anyone other than CJ.

CJ took me for dinner and a movie (compliments of my parents – thanks!) and we did have a lovely time. I really had to control myself though. First, from crying, which started as soon as I walked out the front door of the house. Second, from calling home about one million times while we were out.

I think at first it was hard for CJ to understand my feelings. It is not that I did not trust his parents who were babysitting. I mean, they had four kids and none of them died. It was the fact that I was leaving my babies.

On Sunday mornings when I leave them with CJ so I can teach my church school class, I feel alright because they are with their father and I am doing something important. Last night felt more like being selfish than anything even though CJ insisted that we needed a date night. He, however, leaves the kids all day every day when he goes to work. I am always with them (except for church school, of course). It was hard to conquer the feeling that I was forgetting something and it was really weird to be carrying a purse instead of a diaper bag.

I am proud of the fact that I only asked CJ to call his parents once to check on things between dinner and the movie. I wanted to call after the movie, but knowing everyone might be asleep kept me from asking. I talked all the way home; nervous chatter mostly. I bet if I asked CJ, he would not have any idea what I was talking about last night as for some reason I decided to compare Austenian heroines – something he really could care less about. I could not wait to be home with my babies.

As Q was still awake with her Bubba (CJ’s mom), the first thing I did was check on MJ. It was hard to see him snuggled in his bed knowing I had not said his prayers with him, sang him a song, and tucked him in. CJ’s parents insist it gets easier, but my mother says it does not and I believe she meant it. I can only remember a handful of times when my sister and I were little where they did not take us out with them. Hopefully I will be able to find some sort of middle ground as I am a little young yet to become a hermit. 🙂

Really?

Today is a day of frustration. My sister watches MJ for a few hours on Fridays, between when I leave for work and CJ comes home. I always drop MJ off at 2:00pm. ALWAYS. Today, at quarter to two, my sister called me and said to not drop MJ off at her house – she was out getting her nails done. Are you kidding me? She relies so heavily on my babysitting money to drive her daughter back and forth to preschool that she hounds me about it every week (even though I give it to her the same day every time), yet she has money to blow on a manicure. WTF.

She wanted me to drop MJ off at Walmart, where she was getting her nails done, but I did not want to. He has been sick for the past few days and was finally getting better. I did not want him in and out of cars, running around, etc. Plus, she has two girls of her own to handle while her nails got done.

I really did not have a choice because I do not have someone else to watch MJ. As I was driving to Walmart, my sister tried to call me. My speaker does not work, so I did not answer. She immediately tried to call again so I pulled over to take the call. There had been a change of plans. As her nails got done sooner than she thought and her girls were hungry, they were going to go to Pizza Hut.

I was livid. I did not want him in a public place around other people when he was sick. I did not want her feeding him – we are a paleo family, whether she agrees with that lifestyle or not. She promised she wouldn’t and they would go straight home. I did not believe her.

CJ and MJ always come to visit me on Friday nights on my dinner break. MJ looked terrible when they got here and CJ looked like he was ready to kill my sister. MJ had gone from looking and sounding almost 100% better to being so sick it was heartbreaking just to listen to him breathe. There was no way my sister had taken him straight home.

CJ tries his best not to take his frustrations out on me as he knows she is my sister, but I agree sometimes. I will always love her, but her nonchalance when it comes to the care of MJ really bothers me. I do not have anyone else to watch him while I work and I only work part-time so he can spend most of his days with me. Both CJ and I wish we could figure out a way where I could stay home and he could always stay with me. Plus, my sister is pregnant with baby number three, due in August, and there is no way I am going to let her watch MJ after that.

Most work-from-home jobs do not seem legitimite and they scare me away from even trying to investigate them further. I would love to watch a few children in my home as I used to work at a daycare for three years, but all my ads and fliers do not seem to be doing any good. Hopefully something good comes our way soon.

Sorry about my complaining.

WTH

Today, CJ and I had to drive to the city to sign our closing papers. That is right! You read correctly. We are now, finally, homeowners.

While we were gone, my cousin watched MJ for us. She absolutely adores him and bonus – does not charge 🙂 She was snuggling with him when he fell asleep for his afternoon nap so her nineteen year old self could not ignore the photo op. She took a picture of the two of them cuddling and posted it on Facebook.

Being the proud mama that I am, I commented saying, “Custest baby ever.” Obviously he is mine and I would think so. My sister, being her ever callous self and having no social filter had commented, “I beg to differ.” It would have been less rude if she meant that she was partial to her kids, or something along those lines, but that was never stated; just that she “begged to differ.” My son was not cute whether it be only in the picture or in general.

I feel like I should not have to constantly remind myself that she has no filter and that she does not always mean what she says as she does not think before she speaks. She is an adult with two children and one of the way. Is it crazy for me to expect her to grow up, act her age, and practice good social graces?