As a woman in my late 20s (I had to cop to it sometime), it is hard for me to admit that I get lonely. A lot. My husband is my best friend and I love him for it, but sometimes I crave more.
My best friend since middle school – we served as each other’s maid of honor then matron of honor – moved 13 hours away about four years ago. What was once skyping and phone calls has devolved to Facebook comments and the occasional text message. I miss her.
The handful of friends I made before MJ was born were a few years younger and still in college when we met. Once our place of work closed, they went their separate ways. Well, from me that is. They are still friends; in fact they all live together. I miss getting together on Thursday nights to watch Grey’s Anatomy and just chit-chat.
My sister lives extremely close by, but we are so completely different that although we get along, we don’t hang out. She likes to party and get a little tipsy. I much prefer a different kind of evening. I love her because she is my sister, but I wish she were my friend.
After being with CJ for nearly eight years, he has finally convinced me to give up on his sister being my friend. I didn’t even get a chance to know enough about her to see if we would get along before she expertly and completely shut me out.
CJ tries to reassure me that once MJ, Q, and the new baby are older, I will find some of what he calls “mom friends.” I see his point about running into more woman my age with more in common, yet I feel he severely overestimates my ability to make friends.
This whole entry sounds so depressing…I promise to no longer go on a Friends binge while hormonal.
As I finish up with my WIP for the night, I am really looking forward to crawling into bed with CJ. How did I get so lucky?
– When I work until midnight, he puts my PJs under the electric blanket so they are nice and warm.
– When I am uncomfortably pregnant, he will paint my toenails for me.
– He doesn’t need a Honey-Do list for when I’m at work.
– Occasionally, he buys cards just to send me little notes.
– He writes drafts of notes, birthday cards, etc. before writing the final version he gives to me.
The week from Hell is almost over. MJ and Q have both been sick and decided to share it with Mommy as well. It even got so bad that I asked CJ to use his last vacation day yesterday to give me some help – and a much needed nap. There was no question as far as he was concerned. CJ was glad to do it. I wonder if he truly knows just how much I appreciate him. He does so much for us.
I think we make a great team. We do not have cousins who live next door who can babysit on a whim so we can go out. We do not have parents who take our kids all weekend every weekend. We work alternating shifts; give up time with each other so the kids have what they need. In our 15 minute crossover on days we both work, I give “daily report” and tell CJ when and what to give the kids for dinner before quick goodbyes and “Mommy will call you to say goodnight.” Considering everything, I think we do a pretty damn good job and it hurts me when people who are catered to try to tell me all the things I do wrong or make any other type of comment about my life.
I love my family. Every day I thank God for bringing CJ into my life and blessing me with the gift of being the mother to my beautiful children. All of them. Even the little oopsie currently cooking (for a few more months).
Poke me, tease me, spit in my eye; I will not let it break me. I may bleed, cry, need a hug from my babies, but your words and actions will never be more important to me than what I know to be truth. Such a wonderful man would not love me if I were such a terrible person. My children would not be smart and kind and beautiful if I were not raising them right. I deserve to be as happy as my family makes me ALL THE TIME. So I will be.
A few years ago, when I first began this blog and then abandoned it, I had written about the child care I worked at. If was affliated with a hospital. The higher-ups at said hospital decided that the child care was no longer making the amount of money they wanted it to, so they closed it. The kicker – other local child cares knew what was happening before we did because they had been informed of a possible influx of children.
I am now employed at the same hospital on a part-time basis and really rely on this position.
Yesterday, CJ called me from work. His co-worker had come into his office with the newspaper. She wanted to know why he had not told her that the hospital where his wife worked is closing. He had no idea what she was talking about. He looked up the article himself and then called me. This is how I found out that I am most likely going to lose my job if the hospital cannot restructure into an urgent care. Even then, the evening shift would not be the same, if it even was eight hours.
Lots of my other co-workers found out about the closure on the news. Absolutely none of the “average” staff were told ahead of time. Doctors, nurses, registrars, NO ONE. The only people informed ahead of time were the members of the board who sat in and made this decision.
Back to the drawing board to find new employment. I do not think I will be able to find anything that is so flexible with finding a sitter for MJ before CJ gets home and is so close to our house.
I was schocked about the closure, but not really about the way the hospital handled it. I mean, that was the same way that they had handled closing the child care, so…
Here is to speedily finding something to help with the fact that we just bought our home and really need to be able to make our mortgage payments
I already knew CJ was a great guy, but a few days ago was one of those days where you can really see what you have and be so unbelievably amazed by it.
While we were out shopping, MJ and I had drifted off and when I rounded the corner to the aisle, CJ looked up and saw us. As he looked our that direction, he saw a woman struggling to put a large bag of dog food into her cart. With no hesitation, he walked over to her and said, “Ma’am (yes, he said ma’am!), can I help you?”
She looked completely relieved, as no one else had stopped to help her. He proceeded to help her load two large bags into her cart and then we went on our way, finished our shopping, and went home.
When we got home, I pulled the pork out of the crockpot and began to shred it for dinner. MJ puttered his way over to me and stood between my legs while I was working. I heard CJ ask, “Where’s my baby boy?” MJ stuck his head out from between my legs, looked at his dad, and laughed. He laughed so hard – I adore baby giggles.
CJ continued asking where MJ was and MJ continued popping his head out and laughing. As all babies do, MJ played this game way past the point where it was actually fun, but CJ continued right along without sounding frustrated or tired of it.
He constantly surprises me with how he has seamlessly transitioned into being a dad from having never been around small children before. He is just absolutely amazing and I hope he knows that I realize how lucky I am to have him.