Last week while I was grocery shopping, I passed an old friend in the aisle. There is no way she could have missed me, but she ignored me completely. CJ and I talked it over and there are a few things we feel could have happened.

The first, and least likely in my opinion, is that she really just didn’t see me. The second, and my feeling, is that she is still not over the unfortunate events that took place between her and my brother-in-law. Their failed attempt at a relationship had nothing to do with me, but as my brother-in-law left me to do the “breaking up” as it were, my relationship with her suffered. The third, and CJ’s idea, is that even though I have tried to keep her in my life – inviting her to girls’ nights, birthday parties, etc. – it was just too hard for her to watch me get married and start a family.

I remember her mother made a comment one evening while we were hanging out; shortly before CJ and I got married. She told her daughter to enjoy the last few opportunities to hang out since we wouldn’t be friends anymore after my marriage. So a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts? But not for lack of trying on my part.

I have one best friend, besides CJ of course, who lives in Missouri. I have one sister who prefers her friends who party (and I do mean PARTY), since I don’t. So a situation like this is actually heartbreaking. I know losing a friend is always sad, but when you don’t have many to begin with…

Later in August, I have a meeting set up with a girl from high school. We haven’t really hung out since then, but we did invite each other to our weddings. Why did we set up a meeting now? She just had her first child. He’s a few weeks older than EM. I’m assuming she wants some “mommy friends” for advice, play dates, etc. I’m looking forward to this meeting because I’ve always wanted a “mommy friend” who lives relatively closer than my girlfriend in Missouri. I’ve learned to not get my hopes up though. So we’ll see. Even if it doesn’t go well, at least I know she isn’t immature enough to ignore me if she saw me at the grocery store.

As Q takes one of her many naps, MJ and I finally had a chance to return to a semblance of our normal schedule. We have done our flashcards and had our dance party already this morning. I also excitedly realized that I can once again sit comfortably cross-legged.

One of my girlfriends suggested I occasionally use this blog for a “mommy and me” type of thing and there is something that I think may be worth discussing. When I had MJ, we had a difficult time with feeding at first. Whether the issue was with latch, suction, who knows- we were not always successful. By the time we got a hang of it, he was eating a lot and eating well. Because this is the last feeding experience I had, I found myself comparing Q’s eating to MJ’s.

Q and I fell into feeding like old pros, but she was spitting up a lot. It took me a few days to realize that I was grossly overfeeding her as she could not really process the amount of milk her brother was eating at five months old. I have since been adjusting the amount of time she eats for, but now I fear that she is not getting enough as she is a peanut compared to her brother.

On a brighter note, CJ and I figured out what Q’s problem was at night (which way she faced in the bassinet and temperature of the room) and since we have addressed both these, she slept through the night last night! I made CJ get out of bed a few times to check if she was still breathing because she seems awfully small to be sleeping through the night, but I was also grateful for my first full night of sleep since she was born.