Category Archives: Life

Sorry its been a while…

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Things seem to finally be looking up a bit. Let’s hope they stay that way.

It’s been over a month since I updated my blog because it’s been crazy inside and outside our house. We’ve suffered numerous illnesses, EM was diagnosed lactose intolerant (just like her big sister), my phone decided to break months before it was time to upgrade, and the only car that fits all three car seats at the same time decided to break more than it was worth to fix. Needless to say, we’ve been busy.

Besides getting a new phone and car (and I really love this car), yesterday I was able to see my BFF who was visiting from Wisconsin. We got to hang out and let all the babies play together. It was amazing. I really wish her husband hadn’t moved her so far away. I’m also pretty stoked about the webinar I signed up for tonight. It’s supposed to be writing tips for busy authors. I think as a working mom, I might qualify.  🙂

I’m really looking forward to any tips or tricks it can give me to be more productive in the time I have. Draft one of my first full-length is done, but draft two seems to be taking me forever to complete. And my beta readers all over me for the finished product. I am really proud of the WIP though and can’t wait to share it.

The Boy Who Lived

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I know the kids may still be a little young for this, but last night I began reading them Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone for the first time. We only read one chapter, but CJ and I were really impressed with how long they were able to sit and listen before getting distracted. What I would really like to get is this illustrated edition. It is the entire, originally published story, yet there are gorgeous illustrations on every page to keep a younger audience interested longer.

I really hope to share my love of this series with my kids (besides just my love of reading). CJ may not be as big of a fan as I am, but at least he doesn’t think I’m crazy. He has supported my habit a bit by taking me to midnight showings when we were dating and by taking me to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter as part of our honeymoon. (And it was only part. We went other places, too.)  🙂

I am anxious to read more with them, but I know I shouldn’t overwhelm them with the current version I have if I really want them to pay attention to the whole chapter. Then again, MJ just had a birthday last weekend, so maybe I can convince him to buy the illustrated edition with his birthday money so the whole family can enjoy it.

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All the wrapping paper has been thrown away. The last of the gift bags have been folded and stored for next year. As I have been going through everyone’s gifts and finding homes around the house for them, I was able to pay a little closer attention to the charm my parents (well, Mom) had gotten me for my charm bracelet. It is a simple silver heart engraved with the words ‘Best Mom.’

When I first opened it, I didn’t realize it was engraved, so I only thanked them for the charm. I wish I would have noticed the words sooner, because I would have liked to thank her for them as well.

My mother does not hide that in both our child rearing and career paths, my sister and I have differed from what she herself did and what she believes to be best for us. Therefore, this gift really struck a chord with me. You don’t buy this type of gift for someone if you don’t believe it yourself; at least a little. It means so much to me that even though we do/did things differently, she still thinks I am a good mom. Well, I think she’s a good mom, too.  🙂

I Did It!

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No one ever thinks they will find the broken leg of a three year old to be a blessing in disguise, but lat week, I did. CJ’s company graciously let him work from home on preschool days while MJ has his cast on. Since he stays home with the girls, I have been going over to the library to work on my book while MJ is in school. This has given me the ability to write thousands of words at a time. It has been an amazing experience to throw myself into my book like this.

Because of this opportunity, on October 2nd 2015, I was able to write the words I’ve been so looking forward to writing since this book was just a concept in my head.


Ahh! My hands shook while I took that picture to send to CJ because I couldn’t even wait until I got home to tell him.  🙂

Now, finding a way to print it so I can begin draft two. I can do this. I will do this. And you’re all invited to the book launch and subsequent movie premiere lol.

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Today, after lunch, we had two very angry little girls I had to take care of so CJ took MJ outside to help him mow the lawn. Shortly after I heard the lawnmower stop, I went into the kitchen to get some water. CJ was showing MJ how to swing a bat and they were having a great time with each other. They had no idea I was watching and I’m glad I was able to catch such a moment. It made my heart melt. I am blessed to have those wonderful boys and my beautiful girls.

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Lately, I very much feel on the periphery of things. I want to find something to excite me; that makes me want to participate. Most of the time, my writing makes me feel this way, but I am hesitant to being a writing session because I don’t have as much time to devote to it as I would like and interruptions are guaranteed in my house. I dislike nothing more than getting into a good writing groove and having to abandon it mid-stride. I sincerely hope that the things we are planning in the near future pan out the way we hope so I will have more “me” time; for my writing, to find hobbies I will enjoy, to make some friends.

Recently I reconnected with a friend from high school. I last saw her at the baby shower my family threw for me while I was pregnant with MJ, so it’s been over three years. We decided to get together because of any of the friends that we both still have, the only ones with kids live really far away. She just had her first child a few weeks before EM was born. Both our husbands played on the playground with MJ and Q while we chatted and played with the babies. I had a really nice time.

I feel like this post is a little disjointed. These first two paragraphs were written in an exhaustion induced semi-coma. Had to work an extra long shift last night then wake up early with the kids. It was rough, to say the least. I was so proud of Q today though. She was amazing. And I’m really looking forward to taking MJ to his preschool orientation next week. First day of school pictures to come!

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I just finished rewatching A Little Bit of Heaven. I remember being sad the first time I watched it, but this time I cried like a baby. I think it was because of the recent deaths in my family. So why I chose to watch this movie now, I don’t know.

I feel awful that I didn’t get to go to my aunt’s funeral. (This is the aunt EM was named after.) I know she would have understood as she lived a few states away, but I still wish I could have said goodbye. Well, I more wish see would have been able to meet her namesake, but everyone thought she had more time. –this was difficult to put in the past tense.

I also feel horrible about the viewing I attended for my grandfather. I was uncomfortable and spent the whole time chatting with my mother and a cousin. I feel like a terrible person for being so uncomfortable, but since he had left my grandmother many years before I was born, I didn’t know any of his friends who were there; I barely knew him.

As I watched the end of this movie, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that were true? That we get to witness our funeral and watch our loved ones say goodbye.” But then I thought how horrible a thing this would be for some people. I don’t want to think my grandfather saw me standing in a corner, awkwardly avoiding the front of the room where he was. Everyone deserves to be properly mourned and I don’t really think I lived up to that. And besides barely knowing him, I’ve never really been to anything like that before.

‘Knock on wood,’ I have never really lost anyone in my life. Up until he passed, I had all my grandparents, all my aunts and uncles, and even great-aunt and uncles. I am petrified that when someone passes that I knew better, I won’t be able to handle it. Having no real experience dealing with death and loss at the age of 27, I don’t know if I will be able to hold myself together.

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Last week while I was grocery shopping, I passed an old friend in the aisle. There is no way she could have missed me, but she ignored me completely. CJ and I talked it over and there are a few things we feel could have happened.

The first, and least likely in my opinion, is that she really just didn’t see me. The second, and my feeling, is that she is still not over the unfortunate events that took place between her and my brother-in-law. Their failed attempt at a relationship had nothing to do with me, but as my brother-in-law left me to do the “breaking up” as it were, my relationship with her suffered. The third, and CJ’s idea, is that even though I have tried to keep her in my life – inviting her to girls’ nights, birthday parties, etc. – it was just too hard for her to watch me get married and start a family.

I remember her mother made a comment one evening while we were hanging out; shortly before CJ and I got married. She told her daughter to enjoy the last few opportunities to hang out since we wouldn’t be friends anymore after my marriage. So a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts? But not for lack of trying on my part.

I have one best friend, besides CJ of course, who lives in Missouri. I have one sister who prefers her friends who party (and I do mean PARTY), since I don’t. So a situation like this is actually heartbreaking. I know losing a friend is always sad, but when you don’t have many to begin with…

Later in August, I have a meeting set up with a girl from high school. We haven’t really hung out since then, but we did invite each other to our weddings. Why did we set up a meeting now? She just had her first child. He’s a few weeks older than EM. I’m assuming she wants some “mommy friends” for advice, play dates, etc. I’m looking forward to this meeting because I’ve always wanted a “mommy friend” who lives relatively closer than my girlfriend in Missouri. I’ve learned to not get my hopes up though. So we’ll see. Even if it doesn’t go well, at least I know she isn’t immature enough to ignore me if she saw me at the grocery store.

Weekends with the ‘Rents

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This past weekend, my parents came for a visit to “see the new baby” and go to my nieces’ dance recital. Why is that in quotes? Because this is not really what happened. And I am not surprised in the least.

When my parents decided to move out of state, they promised to visit often since all of their children and grandchildren are here. They were supposed to rotate between staying with my sister or me each time they were here. This only happened a few times before they began staying with my aunt instead. My aunt had cried about not “getting her turn,” but ever since the first time they stayed with her, they have stayed there ever since. Makes me really happy CJ and I spent money we did not have on a bed for them.

I understand my mother feels like she has to see her parents, my dad’s mom, her brothers and sisters, and all her nieces and nephews while she is here, but at the same time, I do not really understand it. She is supposed to be seeing her own children; making her grandchildren feel special. Over an extended weekend, my children got only 45 minutes of uninterrupted attention and an hour of shared attention out at dinner. Did I really mind being taking out to dinner? Not really, but it would have been nicer if it had just been us.

I do not know if she is consciously trying to buy our affections or not, but it really seems like it. She brings gifts every time, pays for dinner, etc. I do not care about any of that. I would much prefer she bring nothing and just spend the time with us that we are promised.

My sister and I have both said something and it seems to go in one ear and out the other. There are too many people vying for her attention and she aims to please. I just wish we rated a little higher on the list.