Author Archives: amberbatdorf

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Every year, there is a catechist dinner for our church school teachers. I look forward to it for many reasons. We get a great meal, I have an excuse to dress up a little, I get a date night night with CJ…

Lately, my children, MJ and Q, have been waking up early – between 3am and 4am early. On top of being exhausted, I have been feeling poorly and that just exacerbated the situation. I made the decision to stay home from the dinner and I am glad that I did as I did not really start feeling better until this evening. Now, it is after 10pm and I am finally feeling better – like I want to move around and do things – only it is time to start thinking about bed if I ever want to catch up on sleep.

Hopefully my children will start sleeping normally again so everyone in the house can start feeling better.

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I know they say potty training boys is more difficult than potty training girls, but I am about at my wits end.

If you take MJ to the bathroom every hour – his underwear will stay dry all day, he will pee in the potty every time, he will clap and cheer for himself and get super jazzed about his treat…

He has told us while out, like at a relative’s house, that he has to go to the bathroom, we will take him, and he will go. While at home, if we wait for him to tell us, he will pee in his underwear every time. If he goes in his underwear, he knows he does not get his treat. He will fuss a bit about this, but obviously it is not a big enough deterrent to keep him from wetting himself.

I need any advice from the parents out there who have potty trained a boy. There must be something else we can try; a different way of doing things, a different treat, etc. I appreciate any ideas. Thanks.

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I was watching an old episode of Charmed and I could not help but get a little depressed while watching. Obviously, as the girls are sisters, there is a fair bit of fighting yet there are these moments between them that I cannot help but to be jealous of. There are instances of true friendship between them where they whisper secrets and hold hands. They know they can rely on one another and share confidences.

I am really jealous. I will admit it. When Piper and Phoebe held hands while running off and giggling, I cried because it is something I have never had and something I fear I never will.

When I got married, I went from having one sister, to having two. Both my sister and sister-in-law have a way of making me feel lacking. I live ten minutes away from my own sister and yet only see her when my parents visit from out of state and only talk to her when my mother forces the issue as she does not usually take my call.

I want the sister relationship I see or the one I read about in books. I want to be able to confide things that I may feel comfortable telling CJ yet know he could do without such feminine knowledge.

All I know is I will do my damnedest to be sure my children have a better relationship. *Here’s to hoping*

Excerpt from WIP

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I have been debating doing this for a while. Some people think I should post an excerpt from my book, but I’ve never been good at sharing my writing with anyone. I even have a difficult time letting CJ read it and he is my nicest critic.

With some encouragement from my Twitter followers, I have decided to share a small excerpt from my current Work In Progress. This WIP is only a first draft, so please be kind when it comes to typing errors, etc. as my goal at the moment is to just get the story down on paper and then edit during the second draft phase.

I have 18 chapters currently, and the story is not over yet. Below is the beginning of the second chapter. Constructive criticism only, please. I am freaking out…

Becca’s War
Chapter 2 excerpt
Pink. She was surrounded by pink. Pink glittered walls. Pink fluffy pillows. Becca could not believe that Marianne had finally convinced her mother to let her pink-ify her room. Becca had to control her gag reflex, yet she was happy to be here.

How many nights had she slept in this room? How many secrets had they shared here? Yet tonight, she would have to conceal the biggest secret of them all from her best friends.

“Rebecca Anne, just what did you think you were doing?” Marianne feigned anger.

“What? Surprising you? I didn’t know that wasn’t allowed. I’ll make sure not to do it next time.” Becca smiled. She really was glad to be here.

Ben had already made himself comfortable on the pink bedspread. His coat was tossed on the floor in a heap with his hat and gloves.

“I don’t know about you Marianne, but I think Becca coming home is a pretty good birthday present. Even if it is belated.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Benny. No one said anything about coming home,” Becca was quick to correct.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, M&M. Have a seat.” Becca took her spot at the small desk chair and plopped her mis-matched socked feet upon it while Marianne went to the window seat and sat on a pink cushion. She adjusted the pink curtains out of her face and waited for Becca to speak.

“We are not here to stay.”

“Wha-”

“Let her finish Marianne. Geez.”

Becca glanced around the room. It was comforting to see, except for the color, the room she knew as well as her own had not changed much. There were still Taylor Swift CDs scattered on the desk, costume jewelry hung haphazardly on the vanity mirror, and a collage of photos of herself, M&M, and Benny on the pegboard above the bed.

She looked back at Marianne. “Dad’s just here on business. We will only be staying until he’s finished with his work, then we will have to go again.”

“That’s crazy, Becca. You just got back. I don’t want you to go away again.”

“Dad’s job is important, M&M. We go where he’s needed.”

“I can’t believe you!” Marianne’s face began to rival her hair in color. “All those times you complained about how he was gone all the time and how his job couldn’t be more important than family and -”

“Mary-anne.” Ben enunciated each syllable. There was no mistaking his tone. “Becca has gone through an awful lot the past two years. Are you seriously yelling at her right now?”

Marianne was a whirlwind of emotion. My best friend is here. I can’t believe she’s here! She’s leaving me again. Not today, but she will go. Why does Mr. Porter keep taking her away. All these business trips have to be hard on her…

“How long will you stay?” Her voice had dropped and was barely above a whisper.

“As long as we need to be here.”

“Will you be going to school when it starts again on Monday?”

“Dad’s not sure, but I think I’m going to push the issue,” Becca said with resolution. “If we are here for a long time, I don’t want to miss out on classes. Plus, then I can maximize the amount of time I will get to spend with you guys.”

“Do you go to school wherever he gets assigned?” Ben could not help but to be curious about this.

“Honestly, no. I do a lot of independent study, but I miss actually going to school.”

“How can your dad be okay with dragging you all over and not letting you attend school? How will you get into college? You still plan on going, right?”

Ever since they were little, the girls had been raised together. Becca and Marianne’s mothers had been best friends, so why would they not raise their girls to be the same? They spent as much time at each other’s houses as they did at their own. It had always been their plan to do well in school, go to college together, get married being the maid/matron of honor for one another, and then raising their own children to be best friends as well.

The upheaval in Becca’s life had been a wake up call that their lives would not be like the pretty little picture they had painted for themselves. Even two years later, it was still hard to believe that Becca’s mother was gone.

Marianne could remember it like yesterday, finding out from her mother that Mrs. Porter had died. No, not died exactly. She had been murdered. A cold case now as there were no leads as to who would want to kill a Home Ec teacher whose most heinous act had been to burn a batch of her award winning cookies on occasion.

Everyone had tried their best; Becca slowly fell apart anyway.

Ten Things I Miss about Being a Teenager

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Lately, as adult life rears its ugly head again, I have found myself thinking about the things I miss most about being a teenager. I have complied the following list. Feel free to comment and add anything I may have missed that we took for granted at the time, but now wish we could get back.

1. Being able to function on less than 5 hours of sleep.

2. Being able to give the bratty 2 year old back to his own mother.

3. Not having to pay for anything other than the gas in my car.

4. My mom cleaning the house.

5. A MUCH better metabolism.

6. Not having to make time for exercise because basketball practice kicked my ass enough.

7. Being able to watch adult movies instead of the same Disney movie every night for a week.

8. Seeing the other side of 11pm without falling asleep on the sofa.

9. Weekends actually being a thing where you could sleep in and stay in your pjs all day if you wanted to.

10. My uniform. Oh boy do I miss my uniform. I loved not having to think about what I would wear everyday.

Any thing I missed? lol

CJ is My Hero

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In the month and one half that the new baby has been home, she has only slept through the night once. After three terrible nights this week, the lack of sleep really hit me. Today was full of headaches, nausea, and all things related to sleep deprivation. CJ was my hero though. He took care of dinner for everyone and even offered to watch the kids so I could take a bath. I mean a real bath; like warm water, bubbles, soft music, candlelight, just soak and relax bath. It was glorious. I just might have the best husband in the world 🙂

For Aqua Waves of Grain

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After a two month break for the holidays, my church school class which composes of eight boys could not remember my name. As they are seventh grade boys and I am sure I am part of a not-so-favorite part of their days, I tried not to let my feelings be hurt. I wanted them to remember on their own, so I tried giving them hints.

I told them my name begins with an A. They began guessing and guessed every A name I have ever heard except my own. I then added that my name is a color. They all thought for a moment before one yelled, “AQUA!” My response, “My parents weren’t hippies, so no.” I told them it was part of “America the Beautiful” and you could see them singing the song to themselves. Finally, one boy guessed correctly. Then there was a large argument over whether AMBER really is a color or not.

After we moved on to more important things, we went on a slight tangent and began telling bad, pun-ny jokes. My favorite, which I had not heard before, was WHEN IS A DOOR NOT A DOOR? WHEN IT’S AJAR. Get it? lol. Unfortunately, I had to spend the next few minutes attempting to explain this to the one boy who did not get it. He did not know that a cracked door is AJAR which is like A JAR…He never did get it. I had to tell them to drop it so we could get back to more important matters.

Oh, these boys. They are crazy, but I love them.

Valentine’s Date

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Last night CJ took me out for a Valentine’s/birthday date. It was the first time since MJ was born that I left him for any length of time when he was not already asleep; expecting someone else to put him to bed. On top of that, it was the first time I left Q with anyone other than CJ.

CJ took me for dinner and a movie (compliments of my parents – thanks!) and we did have a lovely time. I really had to control myself though. First, from crying, which started as soon as I walked out the front door of the house. Second, from calling home about one million times while we were out.

I think at first it was hard for CJ to understand my feelings. It is not that I did not trust his parents who were babysitting. I mean, they had four kids and none of them died. It was the fact that I was leaving my babies.

On Sunday mornings when I leave them with CJ so I can teach my church school class, I feel alright because they are with their father and I am doing something important. Last night felt more like being selfish than anything even though CJ insisted that we needed a date night. He, however, leaves the kids all day every day when he goes to work. I am always with them (except for church school, of course). It was hard to conquer the feeling that I was forgetting something and it was really weird to be carrying a purse instead of a diaper bag.

I am proud of the fact that I only asked CJ to call his parents once to check on things between dinner and the movie. I wanted to call after the movie, but knowing everyone might be asleep kept me from asking. I talked all the way home; nervous chatter mostly. I bet if I asked CJ, he would not have any idea what I was talking about last night as for some reason I decided to compare Austenian heroines – something he really could care less about. I could not wait to be home with my babies.

As Q was still awake with her Bubba (CJ’s mom), the first thing I did was check on MJ. It was hard to see him snuggled in his bed knowing I had not said his prayers with him, sang him a song, and tucked him in. CJ’s parents insist it gets easier, but my mother says it does not and I believe she meant it. I can only remember a handful of times when my sister and I were little where they did not take us out with them. Hopefully I will be able to find some sort of middle ground as I am a little young yet to become a hermit. 🙂

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MJ begins his gymnastics classes again tonight. I think I may be more excited than he is. Over the break, I feel he has gotten so much bigger that I cannot wait to see what he accomplishes tonight. I hope to have lots of pictures. 🙂

Over the past few weeks, writing and blogging have taken a backseat to adjusting to having Q home. For the next few weeks, writing and blogging will have to remain on the back burner as my home will be getting invaded – and I mean that the most loving way possible. CJ’s parents will be coming on Thursday and staying until Monday and then my parents will be coming that Thursday and staying until the following Monday. I am glad they want to come see the baby, but we will sure be exhausted after everyone leaves since they decided to visit so close together.

This is probably one of the most boring blogs ever. I really opened up WordPress with the intention of letting off some steam over an issue that I am very upset about, but after I logged on, I guess you could say I lost my nerve. The issue is unbelievably upsetting and I am not sure what I should do about it. If it does not get remedied this afternoon, I do not know what I will do.

Nap Time

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MJ loves his new sister, but ever since she has been home, I find him fighting his naps. I do not know if he is growing out of them or if he just does not want to sleep because he may miss out on something. The other day, after my giving up on putting him down for a nap, I let him go about his business. I knew he was playing with his trains since they make a very distinctive noise as he bangs them together. Shortly after, I heard silence. In a house with a toddler, silence is never a good thing.

I looked where MJ had been and he was not there. I figured I may be able to catch him doing something naughty, so I quietly looked around the house, without calling out his name. I could not find him and was beginning to panic until I realized that I could hear snores from where I was. I followed the noise and located MJ here:

Sleepy boy.

Sleepy boy.


He was inside an end table in the living room with the door shut. Once I found him, I left the door open because I was paranoid he would not be able to breathe in there. He continued his nap in this space for almost an hour. When CJ got home, he was impressed that MJ was able to get comfortable enough to even fall asleep.

He sure is a crazy boy, my MJ, and I love him to bits.