Category Archives: Life

Ten Things I Miss about Being a Teenager

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Lately, as adult life rears its ugly head again, I have found myself thinking about the things I miss most about being a teenager. I have complied the following list. Feel free to comment and add anything I may have missed that we took for granted at the time, but now wish we could get back.

1. Being able to function on less than 5 hours of sleep.

2. Being able to give the bratty 2 year old back to his own mother.

3. Not having to pay for anything other than the gas in my car.

4. My mom cleaning the house.

5. A MUCH better metabolism.

6. Not having to make time for exercise because basketball practice kicked my ass enough.

7. Being able to watch adult movies instead of the same Disney movie every night for a week.

8. Seeing the other side of 11pm without falling asleep on the sofa.

9. Weekends actually being a thing where you could sleep in and stay in your pjs all day if you wanted to.

10. My uniform. Oh boy do I miss my uniform. I loved not having to think about what I would wear everyday.

Any thing I missed? lol

CJ is My Hero

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In the month and one half that the new baby has been home, she has only slept through the night once. After three terrible nights this week, the lack of sleep really hit me. Today was full of headaches, nausea, and all things related to sleep deprivation. CJ was my hero though. He took care of dinner for everyone and even offered to watch the kids so I could take a bath. I mean a real bath; like warm water, bubbles, soft music, candlelight, just soak and relax bath. It was glorious. I just might have the best husband in the world 🙂

For Aqua Waves of Grain

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After a two month break for the holidays, my church school class which composes of eight boys could not remember my name. As they are seventh grade boys and I am sure I am part of a not-so-favorite part of their days, I tried not to let my feelings be hurt. I wanted them to remember on their own, so I tried giving them hints.

I told them my name begins with an A. They began guessing and guessed every A name I have ever heard except my own. I then added that my name is a color. They all thought for a moment before one yelled, “AQUA!” My response, “My parents weren’t hippies, so no.” I told them it was part of “America the Beautiful” and you could see them singing the song to themselves. Finally, one boy guessed correctly. Then there was a large argument over whether AMBER really is a color or not.

After we moved on to more important things, we went on a slight tangent and began telling bad, pun-ny jokes. My favorite, which I had not heard before, was WHEN IS A DOOR NOT A DOOR? WHEN IT’S AJAR. Get it? lol. Unfortunately, I had to spend the next few minutes attempting to explain this to the one boy who did not get it. He did not know that a cracked door is AJAR which is like A JAR…He never did get it. I had to tell them to drop it so we could get back to more important matters.

Oh, these boys. They are crazy, but I love them.

Valentine’s Date

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Last night CJ took me out for a Valentine’s/birthday date. It was the first time since MJ was born that I left him for any length of time when he was not already asleep; expecting someone else to put him to bed. On top of that, it was the first time I left Q with anyone other than CJ.

CJ took me for dinner and a movie (compliments of my parents – thanks!) and we did have a lovely time. I really had to control myself though. First, from crying, which started as soon as I walked out the front door of the house. Second, from calling home about one million times while we were out.

I think at first it was hard for CJ to understand my feelings. It is not that I did not trust his parents who were babysitting. I mean, they had four kids and none of them died. It was the fact that I was leaving my babies.

On Sunday mornings when I leave them with CJ so I can teach my church school class, I feel alright because they are with their father and I am doing something important. Last night felt more like being selfish than anything even though CJ insisted that we needed a date night. He, however, leaves the kids all day every day when he goes to work. I am always with them (except for church school, of course). It was hard to conquer the feeling that I was forgetting something and it was really weird to be carrying a purse instead of a diaper bag.

I am proud of the fact that I only asked CJ to call his parents once to check on things between dinner and the movie. I wanted to call after the movie, but knowing everyone might be asleep kept me from asking. I talked all the way home; nervous chatter mostly. I bet if I asked CJ, he would not have any idea what I was talking about last night as for some reason I decided to compare Austenian heroines – something he really could care less about. I could not wait to be home with my babies.

As Q was still awake with her Bubba (CJ’s mom), the first thing I did was check on MJ. It was hard to see him snuggled in his bed knowing I had not said his prayers with him, sang him a song, and tucked him in. CJ’s parents insist it gets easier, but my mother says it does not and I believe she meant it. I can only remember a handful of times when my sister and I were little where they did not take us out with them. Hopefully I will be able to find some sort of middle ground as I am a little young yet to become a hermit. 🙂

Nap Time

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MJ loves his new sister, but ever since she has been home, I find him fighting his naps. I do not know if he is growing out of them or if he just does not want to sleep because he may miss out on something. The other day, after my giving up on putting him down for a nap, I let him go about his business. I knew he was playing with his trains since they make a very distinctive noise as he bangs them together. Shortly after, I heard silence. In a house with a toddler, silence is never a good thing.

I looked where MJ had been and he was not there. I figured I may be able to catch him doing something naughty, so I quietly looked around the house, without calling out his name. I could not find him and was beginning to panic until I realized that I could hear snores from where I was. I followed the noise and located MJ here:

Sleepy boy.

Sleepy boy.


He was inside an end table in the living room with the door shut. Once I found him, I left the door open because I was paranoid he would not be able to breathe in there. He continued his nap in this space for almost an hour. When CJ got home, he was impressed that MJ was able to get comfortable enough to even fall asleep.

He sure is a crazy boy, my MJ, and I love him to bits.

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As Q takes one of her many naps, MJ and I finally had a chance to return to a semblance of our normal schedule. We have done our flashcards and had our dance party already this morning. I also excitedly realized that I can once again sit comfortably cross-legged.

One of my girlfriends suggested I occasionally use this blog for a “mommy and me” type of thing and there is something that I think may be worth discussing. When I had MJ, we had a difficult time with feeding at first. Whether the issue was with latch, suction, who knows- we were not always successful. By the time we got a hang of it, he was eating a lot and eating well. Because this is the last feeding experience I had, I found myself comparing Q’s eating to MJ’s.

Q and I fell into feeding like old pros, but she was spitting up a lot. It took me a few days to realize that I was grossly overfeeding her as she could not really process the amount of milk her brother was eating at five months old. I have since been adjusting the amount of time she eats for, but now I fear that she is not getting enough as she is a peanut compared to her brother.

On a brighter note, CJ and I figured out what Q’s problem was at night (which way she faced in the bassinet and temperature of the room) and since we have addressed both these, she slept through the night last night! I made CJ get out of bed a few times to check if she was still breathing because she seems awfully small to be sleeping through the night, but I was also grateful for my first full night of sleep since she was born.

Postpartum Depression?

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Seven days ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and I am one proud mama!

After MJ’s birth, I did not really suffer from Postpartum Depression. I was definitely more emotional than normal (crying at commercial, etc.) by I did not have any severe feelings. After this birth, I have an irrational fear that I cannot keep both my babies; that I will have to choose between them. I think this stems from the fact that every day since we have brought Q home, I have had to watch MJ grow more independent. He will go in his toy room alone and entertain himself without asking for someone to come in and keep him company. If I am feeding his sister before bedtime, MJ will sit alone on the sofa instead of snuggling in my lap like was our routine.

I know I should be happy, but these things make me so nervous that he thinks he has been replaced and that mommy does not love him anymore – hence the fear of being able to only keep one of them.

I do not know any other moms who have suffered through any type of Postpartum Depression or the like. Any advice that could be given, would be greatly appreciated.

The “Hole”

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My mother has always referred to my father’s side of their bed as “the hole.” This is where he dresses/undresses and there has always been a decent amount of clothing littering the floor in this area. I love CJ, but after having him home for five days in a row for the holiday, he has turned my house into his “hole.”

This morning I found his clothing on the kitchen table, kitchen counter, dining room table, living room sofa, foyer bench, and in the bathroom. I was not even aware that he wore that many different outfits while he was home. Joining his clothes in some of these areas were MJ’s clothes. Wherever the boys happened to be when CJ changed MJ, that is where the clothes stayed (and I was wondering where all MJ’s socks were disappearing to).

It has only been six and a half years. Maybe after a few more, CJ will get the picture about what the hamper is for 🙂

Thanksgiving “dinner”

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While at home, it is hard to remember that I am a picky eater; I simply make meals that I know I will eat. Occasionally, I make things for CJ and MJ that I know I will not eat, but it is easy enough to make a little something on the side for me.

Yesterday, at CJ’s family Thanksgiving dinner, I was reminded of how picky I am and was beyond embarrassed about it. As dishes were passed around the table, I handed one after the other to people on either side of me. At the end of the passing, I only had turkey and a dinner roll on my plate. I quickly realized that my family’s staples of mashed potatoes and corn were not going to be made available to me and that the things I saw before me were all there was to be had.

My mother-in-law sat beside me and I felt as if her eyes were fixed upon my empty plate. I am so glad that CJ did not bring any extra attention to my predicament. I do not know the last time I was so embarrassed and I do not think I could have handled it if he had tried to tease me about it at the time.

Maybe I was not quite as over being picky as I thought…

I am Important

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Yesterday, I went to a Thirty-One party I had been invited to by one of my grandmother’s girlfriends. Generationally, I was a little left out, but I did not mind. I got to spend the few hours there hanging out with my grandmother and she is a pretty cool lady.

While I was at the party, I had a great time. All the ladies were so nice to me, telling me I did not look as pregnant as I am (which was a lie, but a sweet one), just being kind and gracious. I had a wonderful time.

As I was dropping my grandmother off at home, she asked if I would be over the following weekend to make cookies. Turns out my sister and my aunt had made plans to go to Grandma’s and bake and did not invite me. Considering how I had been treated by them the day before while we were washing Grandma’s windows, this was just the icing on the cake. I cried all the way home.

CJ, because he is quite possibly the sweetest man on the planet, did not work out. He spent the entire evening with MJ and me making sure I knew I was important to him. We watched a movie and snuggled 🙂

I really needed a night like that. I had been really dark and depressed when I got home. All I could think was that it was really sad that I felt more appreciated when I was with people I was not related to. Thank goodness I have CJ; I do not know what I would do without him.

I will just have to remind myself:

“You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.” – The Help, Kathryn Stockett